L told me she's leaving at the end of the year to go back to SF. i will miss her, nothing new about that. somehow i get the feeling either this is the last time i will ever see her or it will a very long time before i see her again. how could one person have such a hold on me? did i allow it too happen or was it totally out of my hands? my heart has been bonded to her since we were children. no one and nothing has ever taken her place. damn, am i going to be linked to her forever? will i be a slave to my heart always?

To the soul's desires
The body listens
What the flesh requires
Keeps the heart imprisoned

What the spirit seeks
The mind will follow
When the body speaks
All else is hollow

I'm just an angel
Driving blindly
Through this world

I'm just a slave here
At the mercy
Of a girl

Oh I need your tenderness
Oh I need your touch
Oh I dream of one caress
Oh I pray too much

To the soul's desires
The body listens
What the flesh requires
Keeps the heart imprisoned

What the spirit seeks
The mind will follow
When the body speaks
All else is hollow

You keep me waiting
For the promise
That is mine

Please stop debating
Please stop wasting
Your time

Oh I need your tenderness
Oh I need your touch
Oh I dream of one caress
Oh I pray too much

DEPECHE MODE - "When The Body Speaks"

I've relied on my illusions
To keep me warm at night
But I denied in my capacity to love
I am willing, to give up this fight

Love has made me a fool
Set me on fire and watched as I floundered
Unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
But you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
that dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning in this desert without you

how come i don't have anyone? i thought by now i would be married, have a few kids. not sitting in this damned house alone. if this is my future, then i don't want to see the rest of it.