You're so gorgeous I'll do anything
I'll kiss you from your feet
To where your head begins
You're so perfect you're so right as rain
You make me
Make me hungry again

Everything you do is irresistable
Everything you do is simply kissable
Why can't I be you?

I'll run around in circles
Til I run out of breath
I'll eat you all up
Or I'll just hug you to death
You're so wonderful
Too good to be true
You make me
Make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply delicate
Everything you do is quite angelicate
Why can't I be you?

You turn my head when you turn around
You turn the whole world upside down
I'm smitten I'm bitten I'm hooked I'm cooked
I'm stuck like glue
You make me
Make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply dreamy
Everything you do is quite delicious
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion -
Is nothing new
Flashback - warm nights -
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after -

Sometimes you picture me -
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said -
Then you say - go slow -
I fall behind -
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows - you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time -

If you're lost...

You said go slow -
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds -

If you're lost...
...Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time

hontou ni taisetsu na mono igai
subete sutete shimaetara
ii no ni ne
genjitsu wa tada zankoku de

sonna toki itsu datte
me o tojireba
waratte'ru kimi ga iru

aa itsu ka eien no
nemuri ni tsuku hi made
dou ka sono egao ga
taema naku aru you ni

hito wa minna kanashii kana?
wasure yuku ikimono da kedo

ai subeki mono no tame
ai o kureru mono no tame
dekiru koto

Ah deatta ano koro wa
subete ga bukiyou de
toomawari shita yo ne
kizu tsukeatta yo ne

Ah itsu ka eien no
nemuri ni tsuku hi made
dou ka sono egao ga
taema naku aru yo ni

Ah deatta ano koro wa
subete ga bukiyou de
toomawari shita kedo
tadori tsuita n da ne

does it matter that i think you are the most beautiful person in the world? do you even care? i love someone who don't even see me. pitiful am i not?

i have no family. no love, no life. i have been forced to manufacture distractions in order to live thru the day. make up lies to give my life meaning. i have nothing and they keep trying to take that nothing away from me.

"Without love, without anger, without sorrow, breath is just a clock ticking."
"It is not the message that is important, but our obedience to it."
"Without restraint, without control - emotion is chaos"
There is a disease in the heart of man. Its symptom is hate. Its symptom is anger. Its symptom is rage. Its symptom is war. The disease is human emotion.

I'VE ALWAYS LIVED MY LIFE ALONE, DESTINY FORGOTTEN.

Saigo ni kimi ga hohoende
Massugu ni sashidashita mono wa
Tada amarini kirei sugite
Koraekirezu namida afureta

Ano hi kitto futari wa
Ai ni fureta

Watashitachi wa sagashiatte
Tokini jibun o miushinatte
Yagate mitsukeatta no nara
Donna ketsumatsu ga matte ite mo

Unmei to iu igai
Hoka ni wa nai

la la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la la la

Kimi ga tabidatta ano sora ni
Yasashiku watashi o terasu hoshi ga hikatte

Soba ni ite aisuru hito
Toki o koete katachi o kaete
Futari mada minu mirai ga koko ni
Nee konnanimo nokotteru kara

Soba ni ite aisuru hito
Toki o koete katachi o kaete
Futari mada minu mirai ga koko ni
Nokotteru kara

Shinjite aisuru hito
Watashi no naka de kimi wa ikiru
Dakara kore kara saki mo zutto
Sayonara nante iwanai

Ano hi kitto futari wa
Ai ni fureta

Kaasan doushite
Sodateta mono made
Jibun de kowasanakya
Naranai hi ga kuru no?

Barabara ni natta koraaju
Suterarenai no wa
Nani mo tsunagenai te
Kimi no te tsunaida toki datte...

Be my last... Be my last...
Be my last... Be my last...
Douka kimi ga, Be my last...

Narenai doushi de
Yoku ganbatta ne
Machigatta koi wo shita kedo
Machigai de wa nakatta

Nani mo tsukamenai te
Yume miteta no wa doko made?

With my hands With my hands
With my hands With my hands
Watashi no te de Be my last...

Itsuka musubareru yori
Kon'ya ichijikan aitai

Nani mo tsunagenai te
Otona butteta no wa dare?

Be my last... Be my last...
Be my last... Be my last...
Douka kimi ga, Be my last...

I AM LOST IN A STATE OF DESPAIR
SOMEONE PLEASE FIND ME,

SAVE ME FROM MY EMPTINESS

i really hate this bear.

Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we had
And i dream that these would all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don’t say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
my first love

Once in a while
Your are in my dreams
I can feel the your warm embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
yah yah yah

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don’t say no
Now and forever you are still the one
In my heart
So true, I believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
oh oh

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don’t say no
You will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I could never find
Now and forever

Furiou mo ryutosei mo sensei mo
Koi ni ochireba onajiyo ne

Komaku ni ataru basu doramu to
Kokochi yokutsu haihatto
Torokeru youna B-section, B-section, B-section

Anata no egao ga boku no
Kokoro ni kuritikaru hitto
Itsu no maniyara High tension, high tension, high tension

Motto chikazu ite
Gaman shinai de
Sukoshi kega wo shitatte
Maa iin djanai, Kiss & Cry

Higaï dja ishi kitte suki djanai
Uwa mezukai de sasotte kyouhan ga ii

Otousan no risutora to
Onichan to intaneto
Okaasan wa daieto, daieto, daieto

Minna yozora no pairoto
Kodoku wo iyasu munraito
Kyou wa Nissin Cup Noodle, Cup Noodle, Cup Noodle

Motto chikazu ite
Gaman shinaï de
Sukoshi kega wo shitatte
Maa iin djanai, Kiss & Cry

Don't worry baby
Kangae sugitari
Omotte bakari itatte
Sabishii djanai, Kiss & Cry

I just want to be happy
Sukoshi, sukoshi
I just want you to hold me
Watashi, yowamushi
Rainen no tanjoubi made ni
Kono mama dja nanimo kawaranaï
I just want you to hold me
Haji wo kaitatte kamawanai

Chotto kizutsu ite
Akiramenai de
Warai tobashite ganbare
Ato wa shouganai, Kiss & Cry

Motto youki dashite
Motto honki misete
Umakui kanaku tatte
Maa iin djanai, Kiss & Cry

Hikki's fav things to do: Bubble baths, drinking vinegar, hugging pillows, reading manga and Japanese literature, getting shots, and doing yoga.

I don't know her fav songs, but her favorite artists are: Aaliyah, At the Drive-in, Bela Bartok, Björk, Blink182, Blue Man Group, Bon Jovi, Brandy, Cocteau Twins, Craig David, Dr. Dre, Edith Piaf, Elvis Presley, Enigma, Erykah Badu, Freddie Mercury, Garbage, GLAY, Guns N'Roses, Guru, Incubus, Janet Jackson, Jeff Buckley, Jimi Hendrix, Joe, Kate Bush, Lauryn Hill, Led Zeppelin, Madonna, Mary J. Blige, Maxwell, Metallica, Minnie Riperton, Miles Davis, Missy Elliot, Mozart, Nine Inch Nails, No Doubt, Ozaki Yutaka, Pearl Jam, Prince, Queen, Radiohead, Sada Masashi, Slash (Guns 'n' Roses), Sting, The Beatles, The Cure, The Eagles, The Police, TLC, Trent Reznor, U2, Velvet Revolver, and Michael Jackson.

Favorite instrument: Piano

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite animal: Cat

Favorite Word: Kuso (which is 'shit' in Japanese. hehe)

Favorite Video games: Tetris and Dr. Mario (No RPGs...no Kingdom Hearts. xD)

Favorite Foods: Cheese, Tokoroten, Thai food, Vietnamese food, Nattou, Bleu Cheese, Spicy foods and vinegar (Puts vinegar on anything (in ten days she uses up a whole bottle. She sometimes just dilutes it and drinks it straight...ew.)

Favorite Movies: Being John Malkovich, Brazil, Tasogare Seibei (The Twilight Samurai), Lost Highway, π (The 1998 film), The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather Part II, The Jerk, Unbreakable, Orlando, Amadeus, Sleepy Hollow, and Miyazaki Hayao animations

Favorite Japanese Literature: Nakagami Kenji's 'Izoku', Akutagawa Ryuunosuke's 'Rashomon', Kawabata Yasunari's 'Kanjou Soushoku' and 'Yukiguni', Mori Ougai's 'Takasebune', Natsume Souseki's 'Kokoro' and 'Kusamakura', Miyazawa Kenji's 'Shishuu ga Suki', and Mishima Yukio's 'Kinkakuji'

Favorite Western Literature: Herman Hesse's 'Siddhartha', Roald Dahl's 'Tales of the Unexpected', Shel Silverstein's 'Where the Sidewalk Ends' and 'A Light in the Attic', Edgar Allan Poe texts, Elie Wiesel's 'Night', John Berendt's 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil', F. Scott Fitzgerald's 'The Great Gatsby', and George Orwell's '1984'.

Favorite Album: Jeff Buckley's 'Grace'

Without your touch I've been lost without the thing I love
Without your kiss I've been dreaming of the things I miss

Your eyes, your mouth, your lips, your touch
(Your eyes), (your mouth), (your face), (your touch)

Who am I (Who am I)
Not to take (I'm not to take)
A walk with me (a walk with me), no one knows, (still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Not to take (What time it sell)
A walk with me (Will it show) let it be

Each day I miss, I remember times I use to kiss
Your mouth (Your mouth), your eyes (your eyes), your face (your face), your touch (your touch)

Who am I (Who am I)
Not to take (I'm not to take)
A walk with me (a walk with me), no one knows, (still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Not to take (What time it sell)
A walk with me (Will it show) let it be


[Touch lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
(Still I need to know), (What time it sell), (Will real it show)
(Still I need to know), (What time it sell), (Will real it show)

And I say
Who am I (Who am I)
Not to take (I'm not to take)
A walk with me (a walk with me), no one knows, (still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Not to take (What time it sell)
A walk with me (Will it show) let it be

Who am I (Who am I)
Not to take (I'm not to take)
A walk with me (a walk with me), no one knows, (still)
Who am I (I need to know)
Not to take (What time it sell)
A walk with me (Will it show) let it be

Your mouth, your eyes, your face, your touch
Your touch, your touch, your touch, your touch.

Ten to ten wo tsunagu you ni
Sen wo egaku yubi ga nazoru no wa
Watashi no kita michi soretomo ikisaki

Sen to sen wo musubu futari
Yagate minna umi ni tadoritsukihitotsu ni naru kara
Kowakunai keredo

Oh oh ikutsu mono kawa wo nagare
Wake mo kikazu ni
Ataerareta namae to tomo ni
Oh oh subete wo ukeireru nante
Shinakute ii yo
Watashitachi no itami ga imatobidatta

That's why...
That's why I chose you

Ken to ken ga butsukariau oto o
Shiru tame ni takusareta ken ja nai yo
Sonna mujun de dare wo mamoreru no

Oh oh Nando mo sugata o kaete
Watashi no mae ni maiorita anata wo
Kyou wa sagashiteru
Oh oh Doko demo ukeirerareyou to
Shinaide ii yo
Jibun rashisa to iu TSURUGI wo minna sazukatta

Oh oh Toki ni wa nagare wo kaete
Nani mo motazu ni
Atarareta namae to tomo ni
Oh oh subete wo ukeireru nante
Shinakute ii yo
Shiokaze ni mukai toritachi ga ima tobidatta

Neru mae ni iru kimiga sukoshi kagayaki
Mawariga mienai watashitachi wa
Doko ni iruno?

Oh..

Zawameki hajimeta haikei no naka ni
Mada kienai de ne
Mou nanimo kikoenai
But i can feel you breathe
Odoroku hodo kimagurena
Tengai ni sukoshi dake
Watashirashiku naikitai wo
Shiteru...

I wanna be here eternally
Kono mama mitumeateitai
I can feel you close to me
Itsumademo sobonaiwa irarenai
Kono shunkan dake wa
Zutto eien ni

Tatakai ni dekakeru mae no hitoyasumi
Anata to sukoshi itai yakusoku wa
Kondo aeta tokini
Can you feel me breathe?
Odoroku hodo dewanai
Tengai ni mo kandou
Shichau toki ga dareni datte aru...

I wanna be here eternally
Dare nimo mitsukaranai tokoro ni
I can see you are all I need
Ashita made tasuke wa iranai
Kono shunkan sae mo kitto
Just a fantasy..

I can feel you close to me
Ano basho ni kaerenaku nattemo
Ima no kimochi dake wa zutto
eien

I wanna be here eternally
I can see you're all I need
Kono shunkan dake wa
Eien ni

Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa kore ga saigo no Heartbreak
Sakura sae kaze no naka de yurete
Yagate hana wo sakasu yo

Furidashita nastsu no ame ga
Namida no yoko wo totta su-tto
Omoide to DABUru eizou
Aki no DOROMA saihousou

Doushite onaji you na PANCHI
Nando mo kurachaun da
Soredemo mata tatakaun darou
Sore ga inochi no fushigi

Koi wo shite subete sasage
Negau koto wa kore ga saigo no Heartbreak
Sakura sae toki no naka de yurete
Yagate hana wo sakasu yo

Kurikaesu kisetsu no naka de
Kutsu ga suriheratte ku

Motto kata no chikara nuite
Kako wa dokoka ni shimatte oke
Koko kara sou tookunai darou
Mita koto mo nai keshiki

Tomaranai mune no itami koete
Motto kimi ni chikazukitai yo
Hitomawari shite wa modori
Aoi sora wo zutto tesaguri

Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa kyou ga saishou no Good day
Sakura made kaze no naka de yurete
Sotto kimi ni te wo nobasu yo

Suki de suki de doushiyou mo nai
Sore to kore to wa kankei nai...

If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger -
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what i'll be. .

chaaha tha kya paaya hai kya ham bhii dekhiye

Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses

It's you and the roses

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow

Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?

In between the longing to hold you again

I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control

My mind drifts away, we only have today

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way

I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow

When the faith has gone as I let you go, as I let you go

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice

Now I'm living in your afterglow

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses

It's you who is closest

Earth, sky, scenery

Here she comes back again
Men of straw, snooker hall
Words that build or destroy
Dirt, dry bones, sand and stone
Barbed wire fence cut me down

I'd like to be around
In a spiral staircase to the higher ground
And I, like a firework, explode
Roman candle lightening lights up the sky
In cracked streets trampled underfoot
Side step, sidewalk
I see you stare into the space
Have I got closer now behind the face
Oh, tell me, cherry you dance with me
Turn me around tonight
Up through the spiral staircase
To the higher ground

Slideshow of a seaside town
Coca-cola, football
Radio, radio, radio, radio, radio, radio

my god she looks so sweet.

so cute. isn't she?

The sound of air

The sound of water

The sound of sand

The sound of particles flowing above me

The sound of blood running through me

Little things gradually begin to connect

Large things, growing ever larger, begin to crumble

Becomes smaller. Disappears. Appears. Disappears.

No one is present; no one is present inside my heart

Quiet and vast

There stands a giant tree

Quiet and vast, between the sky and grassy plain it stands

Why is it that we try and show ourselves in a positive light?

Why is that we try so hard everyday to have others like us?

Why is that, when people finally like us, we want to be alone?

I want to be spoiled by someone

I want to be drawn to something soft

I want to reveal a secret to someone

I want people to see my true self

Or do I not want them to see?

I want people to see, but I am afraid of being seen

Which is why I am sad.

That is what I think.

there is this constant pain in my head and a weight in my heart. will it ever go away? and if it does, what will replace it? will sorrow replace despair? hate replace anger? maybe i will get lucky and drown in my unhappiness. die and pass on into another realm before what's left of "me" is gone forever.

Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we had
And i dream that these would all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
my first love

Once in awhile
Your are in my dreams
I can feel the your warm embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
yah yah yah

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don't say no
Now and forever you are still the one
In my heart
So true, I believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
oh oh

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I could never find
Now and forever

she's the one isn't she?
my soulmate. the one i'm supposed to be with forever.
though i know she will never end up with me.
she'll meet someone else. marry them.
me? i'll sit here and rot in this house, while the one i love spends her life in someone else's arms.

i must suffer in silence.
no one cares for my thoughts.
i am, always have and always will be
alone.

please don't wake me from this dream. let me drift away believing that you are here with me. i know in reality you're living your life, oblivious of me. but in my dream, you're my life and i am yours. i am your entire reason for existing. we share one heart, one mind, one soul. let me sleep, because when i wake, your not going to be part of my reality.

what am i thinking?
what could she ever see in a person like me?

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it’s done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles… Were just a band.
Led Zepplin… Just a band.
The Beach Boys… Just a band.
The Sex Pistols… Just a band.
The Clash… Just a band.
Crass… Just a band.
Minor Threat… Just a band.
The Cure… Just a band.
The Smiths… Just a band.
Nirvana… Just a band.
The Pixies… Just a band.
Oasis… Just a band.
Radiohead… Just a band.
Bloc Party… Just a band. [ed.’s note: this is debatable]
The Arctic Monkeys… Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.
Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise… kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always… Thou shalt always kill!

you walked in last night
and i froze
you were so beautiful
eyes sparkling like stars
lighting up my night sky

the curves of your body
so smooth
flowing softly
like gently rolling waves on the ocean

i wish
i wish i could say these things to you
you don't even see me
you have no idea i exist
i'm not even remotely in your thoughts.

I Grieve

it was only one hour ago
it was all so different then
there’s nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it’s just the way that you would tied in
now there’s no-one home

i grieve for you
you leave me
‘so hard to move on
still loving what’s gone
they say life carries on
carries on and on and on and on

the news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
while the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
and i can’t handle this

i grieve for you
you leave me
let it out and move on
missing what’s gone
they say life carries on
they say life carries on and on and on

life carries on
in the people i meet
in everyone that’s out on the street
in all the dogs and cats
in the flies and rats
in the rot and the rust
in the ashes and the dust
life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

it’s just the car that we ride in
a home we reside in
the face that we hide in
the way we are tied in
and life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

did I dream this belief?
or did i believe this dream?
now i can find relief
i grieve

" If it had been written, and thus deemed necessary, for the firstborn original sin to be redeemed by the suffering that, in the name of the mankind, was inflicted upon The Saviour, why was it, on the other hand, necessary to pay for this cleansing of the Human soul with another sin- the ungrattitude and crucifixion of that very Saviour?
The mankind, in its moment of redemption, through the very act of redempion itself, falls and sins again.
The sin redeemed with - a sin.
One sin replaced by another.
The superhuman sacrifice of the Christ becoming thus A PRIORI worthless...
And what happens if we induce this thought upon the human nature?...
If we use this thought of a doubt to read human history?..."

Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? …….What do you see?
What are you thinking……when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man, ….not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ……..with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food…….and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice…..”I do wish you’d try!”
Who seems not to notice ….the things that you do.
And forever is losing ………….. A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not………..lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding …… The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse……you’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am ……. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, …..as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten……with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ……who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ………..with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ………a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ………my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows……..that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ………. I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide …… And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ……… My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ……… With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ……..have grown and are gone,
But my woman’s beside me……..to see ! I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ……… Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children ……. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ………. My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ………..I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing …….young of their own.
And I think of the years…… And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man………and nature is cruel.
‘Tis jest to make old age …….look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles……….grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone……..where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass …… A young guy still dwells,
And now and again …….my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys………….. I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living………….life over again.
I think of the years …all too few……gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact……..that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ………open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer….see……..ME!!

i saw her last night. my god she is so beautiful. i hang on her every action, every word. too bad she doesn't even know i exist. to her i'm just one of the many people she meets during the day. i probably don't even .............................................oh what the hell. i'll never be what i want to be to her. i'm just a fucking loser. not worthy off her.

New blood joins this earth
and quikly he's subdued
through constant pain disgrace
the young boy learns their rules

with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all his thoughts
the young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will they'll take away

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub thee unforgiven

they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub the unforgiven

you labeled me
I'll label you
so I dub the unforgiven

without love.
breath is just a clock ticking.

i being poor
have only my dreams.
i have spread my dreams under your feet.
thread softly,
because you thread on my dreams.

i think i will just end things. as soon as i get my affairs straightened out. i can't take living like this. always wanting what i can't have. never getting anything i want. enduring one failure after another. watching and feeling myself erode away with every disappointment. my soul has taken all it can. i want to still be recognizable as human when i pass, not the empty creature i'm becoming.

to kiss her.
feel her soft, warm skin.
her lips looks so perfect,
their shape, color.

why can't i crash my car and die? that way i wouldn't have to think about her or feel for her or desire her.

sorrow wears the face off happiness

i can't get her out of my sight
i see her everywhere.
she's imbedded in my soul
i wish she would just leave.
please leave.....................................................................

it's not that i've never seen anyone as beautiful as her. i've just never seen anyone with beauty like hers. flawless beauty.

i feel like i'm drowning in my own despair and there is no one to save me. all the hate, anger and love, all locked up inside. wasting away. causing me too rot.

sometimes i feel like i'm living someone else's life. i'm standing on the outside watching other people do all the things i should be doing. having all the things that should be mine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm 'round the corner from anything that's real
I'm across the road from hope
I'm under a bridge in a rip tide
That's taken everything I call my own

One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing

I'm on an island at a busy intersection
I can't go forward, I can't turn back
Can't see the future
It's getting away from me
I just watch the tail lights glowing

One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
Knowing, knowing

I'm hanging out to dry
With my old clothes
Finger still red with the prick of an old rose
Well the heart that hurts
Is a heart that beats
Can you hear the drummer slowing?

One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
To knowing, to knowing, to knowing