she's the one isn't she?
my soulmate. the one i'm supposed to be with forever.
though i know she will never end up with me.
she'll meet someone else. marry them.
me? i'll sit here and rot in this house, while the one i love spends her life in someone else's arms.

i must suffer in silence.
no one cares for my thoughts.
i am, always have and always will be
alone.

please don't wake me from this dream. let me drift away believing that you are here with me. i know in reality you're living your life, oblivious of me. but in my dream, you're my life and i am yours. i am your entire reason for existing. we share one heart, one mind, one soul. let me sleep, because when i wake, your not going to be part of my reality.

what am i thinking?
what could she ever see in a person like me?

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it’s done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles… Were just a band.
Led Zepplin… Just a band.
The Beach Boys… Just a band.
The Sex Pistols… Just a band.
The Clash… Just a band.
Crass… Just a band.
Minor Threat… Just a band.
The Cure… Just a band.
The Smiths… Just a band.
Nirvana… Just a band.
The Pixies… Just a band.
Oasis… Just a band.
Radiohead… Just a band.
Bloc Party… Just a band. [ed.’s note: this is debatable]
The Arctic Monkeys… Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.
Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise… kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always… Thou shalt always kill!

you walked in last night
and i froze
you were so beautiful
eyes sparkling like stars
lighting up my night sky

the curves of your body
so smooth
flowing softly
like gently rolling waves on the ocean

i wish
i wish i could say these things to you
you don't even see me
you have no idea i exist
i'm not even remotely in your thoughts.

I Grieve

it was only one hour ago
it was all so different then
there’s nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it’s just the way that you would tied in
now there’s no-one home

i grieve for you
you leave me
‘so hard to move on
still loving what’s gone
they say life carries on
carries on and on and on and on

the news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
while the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
and i can’t handle this

i grieve for you
you leave me
let it out and move on
missing what’s gone
they say life carries on
they say life carries on and on and on

life carries on
in the people i meet
in everyone that’s out on the street
in all the dogs and cats
in the flies and rats
in the rot and the rust
in the ashes and the dust
life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

it’s just the car that we ride in
a home we reside in
the face that we hide in
the way we are tied in
and life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

did I dream this belief?
or did i believe this dream?
now i can find relief
i grieve

" If it had been written, and thus deemed necessary, for the firstborn original sin to be redeemed by the suffering that, in the name of the mankind, was inflicted upon The Saviour, why was it, on the other hand, necessary to pay for this cleansing of the Human soul with another sin- the ungrattitude and crucifixion of that very Saviour?
The mankind, in its moment of redemption, through the very act of redempion itself, falls and sins again.
The sin redeemed with - a sin.
One sin replaced by another.
The superhuman sacrifice of the Christ becoming thus A PRIORI worthless...
And what happens if we induce this thought upon the human nature?...
If we use this thought of a doubt to read human history?..."

Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? …….What do you see?
What are you thinking……when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man, ….not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ……..with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food…….and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice…..”I do wish you’d try!”
Who seems not to notice ….the things that you do.
And forever is losing ………….. A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not………..lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding …… The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse……you’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am ……. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, …..as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten……with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ……who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ………..with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ………a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ………my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows……..that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ………. I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide …… And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ……… My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ……… With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ……..have grown and are gone,
But my woman’s beside me……..to see ! I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ……… Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children ……. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ………. My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ………..I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing …….young of their own.
And I think of the years…… And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man………and nature is cruel.
‘Tis jest to make old age …….look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles……….grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone……..where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass …… A young guy still dwells,
And now and again …….my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys………….. I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living………….life over again.
I think of the years …all too few……gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact……..that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ………open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer….see……..ME!!

i saw her last night. my god she is so beautiful. i hang on her every action, every word. too bad she doesn't even know i exist. to her i'm just one of the many people she meets during the day. i probably don't even .............................................oh what the hell. i'll never be what i want to be to her. i'm just a fucking loser. not worthy off her.

New blood joins this earth
and quikly he's subdued
through constant pain disgrace
the young boy learns their rules

with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all his thoughts
the young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will they'll take away

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub thee unforgiven

they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub the unforgiven

you labeled me
I'll label you
so I dub the unforgiven