Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
ONLY YOU
Forever, forever, baby
Forever, forever, together
Forever, forever, smiling
Be it a dream or an illusion
I didn’t care if I’d never wake up again
Everybody passed me by
But only you didn’t
I didn’t have anything
I was a hollow humanoid shell
But you filled me
I finally found someone special
(Only your words) My unmoving feet
(Only your eyes) My instantly-shying-away heart
(Only your arms) My scattered tears
You gathered them together and stroked my face
I don’t need anything
Wherever, whenever
I’m not afraid
I might be tiny but I’ll stand tall
And protect you no matter what
Because you give my life meaning
I was wrong
On the day when I doubted you just once
My sadness tried to kill to me
That happened for the first time
But you calmly warmed
And healed me again
(Because it’s you) Even when I’m being a cry-baby
(If it’s with you) Even when I’m lost on a dark road
(Only you) No matter what, you’d never betray me
If it’s to you, I can sing
I don’t need anything
Wherever, whenever
I’m not afraid
I might be tiny but I’ll stand tall
And protect you no matter what
Because you give my life meaning
Halfway down the road on which I kept stumbling
You gave me a reason to stand up again
At all costs, if it’s for your sake
No wound can hurt me
I don’t need anything
Wherever, whenever
I’m not afraid
I might be tiny but I’ll stand tall
And protect you no matter what
Because only you changed me
I don’t want anyone but you
I stand firm
Up until now and in the future
I give it my all and persist
Because only you are
The person I’ve been looking for
Forever, forever, baby
Forever, forever, together
Forever, forever, smiling
Forever, forever, baby
Forever, forever, together
Forever, forever, smiling
Be it a dream or an illusion
I didn’t care if I’d never wake up again
Everybody passed me by
But only you didn’t
I didn’t have anything
I was a hollow humanoid shell
But you filled me
I finally found someone special
(Only your words) My unmoving feet
(Only your eyes) My instantly-shying-away heart
(Only your arms) My scattered tears
You gathered them together and stroked my face
I don’t need anything
Wherever, whenever
I’m not afraid
I might be tiny but I’ll stand tall
And protect you no matter what
Because you give my life meaning
I was wrong
On the day when I doubted you just once
My sadness tried to kill to me
That happened for the first time
But you calmly warmed
And healed me again
(Because it’s you) Even when I’m being a cry-baby
(If it’s with you) Even when I’m lost on a dark road
(Only you) No matter what, you’d never betray me
If it’s to you, I can sing
I don’t need anything
Wherever, whenever
I’m not afraid
I might be tiny but I’ll stand tall
And protect you no matter what
Because you give my life meaning
Halfway down the road on which I kept stumbling
You gave me a reason to stand up again
At all costs, if it’s for your sake
No wound can hurt me
I don’t need anything
Wherever, whenever
I’m not afraid
I might be tiny but I’ll stand tall
And protect you no matter what
Because only you changed me
I don’t want anyone but you
I stand firm
Up until now and in the future
I give it my all and persist
Because only you are
The person I’ve been looking for
Forever, forever, baby
Forever, forever, together
Forever, forever, smiling
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
Afrikaans: Geseënde Kersfees
Afrikander: Een Plesierige Kerfees
African/ Eritrean/ Tigrinja: Rehus-Beal-Ledeats
Albanian:Gezur Krislinjden
American Merry Christmas
Arabic: Milad Majid
Argentine: Feliz Navidad
Armenian: Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri: Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Bahasa Malaysia: Selamat Hari Natal
Basque: Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bengali: Shuvo Naba Barsha
Bohemian: Vesele Vanoce
Bosnian: (BOSANSKI) Cestit Bozic i Sretna Nova godina
Brazilian: Feliz Natal
Breton: Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian: Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Catalan: Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou!
Chile: Feliz Navidad
Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
Choctaw: Yukpa, Nitak Hollo Chito
Columbia: Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo
Cornish: Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Corsian: Pace e salute
Crazanian: Rot Yikji Dol La Roo
Cree: Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian: Sretan Bozic
Czech: Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish: Glædelig Jul
Duri: Christmas-e- Shoma Mobarak
Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
English: Merry Christmas
Eskimo: (inupik) Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
Esperanto: Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian: Rõõmsaid Jõulupühi
Ethiopian: (Amharic) Melkin Yelidet Beaal
Faeroese: Gledhilig jol og eydnurikt nyggjar!
Farsi: Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish: Hyvaa joulua
Flemish: Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
French: Joyeux Noel
Frisian: Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
Galician: Bo Nada
Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
German: Fröhliche Weihnachten
Greek: Kala Christouyenna!
Haiti: (Creole) Jwaye Nowel or to Jesus Edo Bri'cho o Rish D'Shato Brichto
Hausa: Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew: Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi: Shub Naya Baras (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Hungarian: Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic: Gledileg Jol
Indonesian: Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish: Nollaig Shona Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
Iroquois: Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson honungradon nagwutut. Ojenyunyat osrasay.
Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie
Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Jiberish: Mithag Crithagsigathmithags
Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Lao: souksan van Christmas
Latin: Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!
Latvian: Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!
Lausitzian:Wjesole hody a strowe nowe leto
Lettish: Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian: Linksmu Kaledu
Low Saxon: Heughliche Winachten un 'n moi Nijaar
Luxembourgish: Schèine Chreschtdaag an e gudde Rutsch
Macedonian: Sreken Bozhik
Maltese: IL-Milied It-tajjeb
Manx: Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori: Meri Kirihimete
Marathi: Shub Naya Varsh (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Mongolian: Shire jiliin Mend Hurgi
Navajo: Merry Keshmish
Norwegian: God Jul, or Gledelig Jul
Occitan: Pulit nadal e bona annado
Papiamento: Bon Pasco
Papua New Guinea: Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu
Pennsylvania German: En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr!
Peru: Feliz Navidad y un Venturoso Año Nuevo
Philippines: Maligayang Pasko!
Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie
Portuguese:Feliz Natal
Pushto: Christmas Aao Ne-way Kaal Mo Mobarak Sha
Rapa-Nui (Easter Island): Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rhetian: Bellas festas da nadal e bun onn
Romanche: (sursilvan dialect): Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn!
Rumanian: Sarbatori vesele or Craciun fericit
Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Sami: Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Sardinian: Bonu nadale e prosperu annu nou
Scots Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serbian: Hristos se rodi.
Singhalese: Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak: Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene: Vesele Bozicne Praznike Srecno Novo Leto or Vesel Bozic in srecno Novo leto
Spanish: Feliz Navidad
Swedish: God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År
Tagalog: Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon
Tamil: (Tamizh) Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Trukeese: (Micronesian) Neekiriisimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech!
Thai: Sawadee Pee Mai or souksan wan Christmas
Turkish: Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian: Srozhdestvom Kristovym or Z RIZDVOM HRYSTOVYM
Urdu: Naya Saal Mubarak Ho (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Vietnamese: Chuc Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh: Nadolig Llawen
Yoruba: E ku odun, e ku iye'dun!
Afrikander: Een Plesierige Kerfees
African/ Eritrean/ Tigrinja: Rehus-Beal-Ledeats
Albanian:Gezur Krislinjden
American Merry Christmas
Arabic: Milad Majid
Argentine: Feliz Navidad
Armenian: Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri: Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Bahasa Malaysia: Selamat Hari Natal
Basque: Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bengali: Shuvo Naba Barsha
Bohemian: Vesele Vanoce
Bosnian: (BOSANSKI) Cestit Bozic i Sretna Nova godina
Brazilian: Feliz Natal
Breton: Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian: Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Catalan: Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou!
Chile: Feliz Navidad
Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
Choctaw: Yukpa, Nitak Hollo Chito
Columbia: Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo
Cornish: Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Corsian: Pace e salute
Crazanian: Rot Yikji Dol La Roo
Cree: Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian: Sretan Bozic
Czech: Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish: Glædelig Jul
Duri: Christmas-e- Shoma Mobarak
Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
English: Merry Christmas
Eskimo: (inupik) Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
Esperanto: Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian: Rõõmsaid Jõulupühi
Ethiopian: (Amharic) Melkin Yelidet Beaal
Faeroese: Gledhilig jol og eydnurikt nyggjar!
Farsi: Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish: Hyvaa joulua
Flemish: Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
French: Joyeux Noel
Frisian: Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
Galician: Bo Nada
Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
German: Fröhliche Weihnachten
Greek: Kala Christouyenna!
Haiti: (Creole) Jwaye Nowel or to Jesus Edo Bri'cho o Rish D'Shato Brichto
Hausa: Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew: Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi: Shub Naya Baras (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Hungarian: Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic: Gledileg Jol
Indonesian: Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish: Nollaig Shona Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
Iroquois: Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson honungradon nagwutut. Ojenyunyat osrasay.
Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie
Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Jiberish: Mithag Crithagsigathmithags
Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Lao: souksan van Christmas
Latin: Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!
Latvian: Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!
Lausitzian:Wjesole hody a strowe nowe leto
Lettish: Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian: Linksmu Kaledu
Low Saxon: Heughliche Winachten un 'n moi Nijaar
Luxembourgish: Schèine Chreschtdaag an e gudde Rutsch
Macedonian: Sreken Bozhik
Maltese: IL-Milied It-tajjeb
Manx: Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori: Meri Kirihimete
Marathi: Shub Naya Varsh (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Mongolian: Shire jiliin Mend Hurgi
Navajo: Merry Keshmish
Norwegian: God Jul, or Gledelig Jul
Occitan: Pulit nadal e bona annado
Papiamento: Bon Pasco
Papua New Guinea: Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu
Pennsylvania German: En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr!
Peru: Feliz Navidad y un Venturoso Año Nuevo
Philippines: Maligayang Pasko!
Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie
Portuguese:Feliz Natal
Pushto: Christmas Aao Ne-way Kaal Mo Mobarak Sha
Rapa-Nui (Easter Island): Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rhetian: Bellas festas da nadal e bun onn
Romanche: (sursilvan dialect): Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn!
Rumanian: Sarbatori vesele or Craciun fericit
Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Sami: Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Sardinian: Bonu nadale e prosperu annu nou
Scots Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serbian: Hristos se rodi.
Singhalese: Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak: Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene: Vesele Bozicne Praznike Srecno Novo Leto or Vesel Bozic in srecno Novo leto
Spanish: Feliz Navidad
Swedish: God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År
Tagalog: Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon
Tamil: (Tamizh) Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Trukeese: (Micronesian) Neekiriisimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech!
Thai: Sawadee Pee Mai or souksan wan Christmas
Turkish: Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian: Srozhdestvom Kristovym or Z RIZDVOM HRYSTOVYM
Urdu: Naya Saal Mubarak Ho (good New Year not Merry Christmas)
Vietnamese: Chuc Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh: Nadolig Llawen
Yoruba: E ku odun, e ku iye'dun!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
When I hear this song I remember you...
But life will soon part us, because I couldn’t follow yours steps.
You are the best part of my life and yet I can’t say how much I love you.
Loving you means I cannot put you in a cage but set you free.
The only thing I can do is waiting for you even knowing that you probably won’t come back to me.
I wish nothing but the best for you. And, please, be happy wherever you go. Your happiness is my happiness.
I love you my guardian angel…
I love you
But life will soon part us, because I couldn’t follow yours steps.
You are the best part of my life and yet I can’t say how much I love you.
Loving you means I cannot put you in a cage but set you free.
The only thing I can do is waiting for you even knowing that you probably won’t come back to me.
I wish nothing but the best for you. And, please, be happy wherever you go. Your happiness is my happiness.
I love you my guardian angel…
I love you
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I've found that some detailing myths are deliberately perpetuated by the industry and others are just common errors of judgment
Myths or marketing hype is usually based on some ‘truth’ to give it credibility, but biased to the advantage of the particular product. Or sometimes just plain misinformation or negative marketing to take advantage of the lack of knowledge by the general public
Leather needs oils to feed and condition it
Leather doesn’t need oils to feed it; it isn’t a living thing. Leather was removed from a dead animal, it’s then fat-liquored to preserve its oils and then sealed, and it also doesn't need proteins, collagen, oils or creams to feed or condition it, even if they could permeate the various coverings.
If you keep polishing your car you’ll take all the paint off.
Most modern vehicle paint film systems thickness is approximately 6.0 Mil (0.006-inches) comprising a Primer coat of 2Mils, a Colour coat of 1-2Mils, and Clear coat 2-3Mils. Ultra violet protection (UV) migrates to the top of the clear coat to protect the paint system from the effects of (UV) radiation (photo degradation (colour fading) oxidation)
Using a medium abrasive polish and a rotary polisher will remove approximately 0. 1 Mil (3µ Microns) from the paint surface (typically 4 passes at 1500-1800 RPM) but there are many variables such as polish/compound and speed / pressure used that may affect the paint removed)
There comes a point when you must judge wither removing a scratch will compromise the clear coat and if so you’ll have to ‘live’ with the imperfection. If you have reservations about the amount of paint surface removed or the amount of paint coating remaining the use of a paint thickness gauge (PTG) is arbitrary
A sealant has no benefit to the paint ‘because’ there is a clear coat
This is baffling, as clear coat is a polyethylene paint but without colour pigmentation, its applied to provide the colour coat (base coat) with shine, if a clear coat did not need a protection applied, there would be no such thing as clear coat failure due to oxidation or any of a myriad of clear coat problems. To provide further improvements in appearance and durability the basecoat / clear coat systems were developed and introduced in the late 70’s. The base coat is comprised primarily of pigments held in place by a polymeric resin film (binder).
To clean really dirty wheels use an acid based cleaner
There is a thin line between effective cleaning and dangerous to use products; so before using any chemicals or solvents, carefully read all of the cautions and medical information on the products container and / or MSDS.
Always follow all of the manufacturer’s recommendations. Ensure that you wear eye protection and acid-proof gloves; this is mandatory. No matter how safe an acidic product is advertised, never run the risk of it splashing in your eye or permeating your skin.
Use a product that has a low acid concentration level i.e. Sulphuric, Phosphoric and Nitric acid. 10% or less) with as high a pH level as you can find for an acid, this constitutes a less aggressive product. A wheel cleaner containing a neutralized acid is far safer yet still very effective to use on most wheels. It will do a far better job than high alkaline cleaners, yet is nowhere near as harmful to the vehicle or yourself
If you dilute an acid it makes it less harmful
Water is amphoteric and can act as an acid or as a base; an aqueous solution is a solution in which the solvent is water. Hydration leaves the non-water component intact. To dilute an acid requires a buffering agent, which adjusts the pH of a solution. The function of a buffering agent is to drive an acidic or basic solution to a certain pH state and prevent a change in this pH. Buffering agents have variable properties -- some are more soluble than others; some are acidic while others are basic.
Low pH acidic and high pH alkaline cleaners should be used with proper skin protection and in plenty of fresh air ventilation. Also proper health precautions should be taken (gloves, respirator, etc)
Using dawn will destroy rubber trim and paint
I would not recommend using a harsh dishwashing detergent such as Dawn on a regular basis, as they contain a degreaser, although most of them are approx pH 8.0 the other ingredients will tend to emulsify, breakdown and leach out oils found in rubber moulding, trim and the paint system, which if used constantly will cause the plasticizers to dry out and oxidize, causing them to lose their flexibility.
The DuPont Teflon® PTFE products that are used in the formulation of our products, add a distinctive performance benefit to the products
Teflon® will help ‘spread ability’ (but then so do silicone oils) it does nothing for durability because of its required application method-although Teflon® is an exceptional product when used as intended; it provides no benefit in a wax or polish. Unless Teflon® is applied at 700.0F, plus the use of a dissolving chemical C8, it is not a viable ingredient, and is 100 percent useless in protecting the paint's finish.
The larger the % of Carnauba wax the better the wax
Misinformation propagates the myth that increasing the Carnauba content of a wax will greatly improve the wax. This is only very marginally true at best; most carnaubas advertised with 50% or more Carnauba wax content is truly advertising a weight, not a volume. 30% by volume is about 50% by weight is about the maximum content (approx 35% Carnauba by volume makes it almost impossible to add/remove) that’s why you never can truly assess the amount of Carnauba in a manufactured wax unless the manufacturer specifically lists its content percentage by weight or volume.
Silicone / Petroleum distillates are harmful to paint
Silicone (Siloxane) oils - are polymers that include silicon together with carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and sometimes other chemical elements, which provide an excellent lubricant that when used as a carrier system in polishes and waxes that makes them easier to apply and remove When used in paints and other coatings it ensures an even flow through a spray nozzle ensuring an even product distribution. It not silicone that you need worry about, just the 'type' (what it’s formulated with) you need to be aware of. Silicone oils provide an excellent lubricant that when used as a carrier system in polishes and waxes that makes them easier to apply and remove When used in paints and other coatings it ensures an even flow through a spray nozzle ensuring an even product distribution.
More soap bubbles in a wash will get things cleaner
Back when laundry was done with soap flakes, suds level was an indicator of cleaning performance. So, many people today think that a good rich level of suds is necessary for clean laundry. However, this is no longer true. Today's detergents are formulated to have any suds level desired without affecting cleaning performance. "They make the removal of dirt easier by reducing the surface tension between the water and the paint surface.
In reality suds (a chemical foaming agent or coconut oil) do absolutely nothing to clean, they are simply a structure that a portion of the solution had taken due to being mixed with air. The amount of foaming produced has nothing to do with its cleaning efficiency, although it does provide a means of encapsulation as well as acting a cushion between the paint surfaces and cleaning tool (although a surfactant is much better at this)
All purpose cleaners (APC) will remove any soil / stain
Classifying stains-
Organic stains- these include proteins and fats, body oils, mould yeast, bacteria, bugs and carbohydrates. Most of the stains found in the vehicle interior are of an organic nature and require an alkaline type cleaner. Some organic stains (i.e. blood, vomit, urine) should be removed with an enzyme type cleaner and a disinfectant applied to the area
Non-Organic stains- mostly found on the exterior of the vehicle, hard water scale (calcium) lime deposits, Road tar, grease and oil film, and require an acidic type cleaner.
Petroleum soils - substances that do not contain water, nor are they miscible, these soil types include, motor oils, and crease and road tar, and require a solvent type cleaner.
Stain Types-
Water Soluble Stains- These stains can be dissolved in cool water or loosened with water based cleaner, coffee; soft drinks, cocoa and chocolate are good examples.
Oil soluble stains- These are stains that are comprised of oily or greasy substances, which include cooking, oil from fried foods and suntan oil.
Combination Stains- These stains contain both water based and oil-soluble properties. Cleaning these stains require treatment with a petroleum solvent followed by water based cleaning solution.
Unidentifiable Stains- Sometimes stains cannot be identified. Treat these stains like a combination stain. Clean with a petroleum solvent followed by water based cleaner.
As you can see from the above list the so-called ‘all purpose cleaner’ (APC) cannot remove all stains, it’s better to use a specific stain remover than to compromise. Always select a chemical / cleaner that are biodegradable, environmentally friendly and safe to use by observing any precautions recommended so that they won’t harm you, your vehicle or the environment
A hard paint surface resists scratches
Hard and soft are both relative terms; you can scratch the hard surface of a vehicles paint with a soft towel by the application of enough pressure. Both pressure and mechanical stress are defined as force per unit area. These two forces are the subject of Newton's third law of motion; the law of reciprocal actions [: to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction]
How can a hard clear coat be so easily scratched? Force acts through a body that has a surface area; if the surface area is really small while maintaining an equal force, the pressure becomes astronomical and the object under pressure capable of penetrating the surface of an otherwise tough material. That’s why a micro fine thread that is twice as fine as silk and a 100 times finer than a human hair, in an otherwise soft towel will scratch your paint. And the same reason a mosquito can penetrate a rhino hide with its proboscis (stinger).
A ‘Touch less’ or Tunnel car wash must be a safe way to clean your vehicle
Most so called ‘Touch less’ car washes today use a low pH acid as a first step, an alkaline to neutralize it and then high pressure water to wash cars. Hand washing is MUCH preferred, do not use an automated car wash period, touch less or not, there are a variety of reasons:
Local by-laws require car washes to re-claim or recycle water. This means they have two choices.
They can collect the water in tanks and pay to truck it away to a recycling centre or they can filter and then recycle the water (dependant on how often the filters are cleaned /changed) will affect how much dirt content there is. Recycled meaning re-use the same water, which may include any road dirt/grit that is not filtered out is used to high-pressure (1,000PSI) wash your vehicle (somewhat similar to sandblasting) the final rinse is usually twice-filtered re-cycled water, this is to give the appearance of a clean surface on the vehicle.
To help clean the recycled water they use a chemical like Presidium Orthophosphate (TSP) and have the chemical formula Na3PO4. It is a highly water-soluble ionic salt. Solutions of it dissolved in water have a high alkaline pH; this does a great job stripping your wax / sealant. TSP is generally not good for cleaning vehicles because it can corrode metal.
Washing my vehicle in my driveway is OK
Disposal of Aqueous Solutions - one should never assume that aqueous solutions can be disposed of down the drain. Your local water treatment authority or publicly owned treatment works will have information on treatment and disposal of these cleaners. Adjustment of pH and dilution are usually required before disposal to a drain Always comply with current water usage and disposal regulations / water usage restrictions
What’s the best wax?
Is there a best? In my opinion- No! While it’s true many of the chemicals used in the formulation of car care products are the same (or at least very similar) Chemists will forever be trying to make the perfect wax for cars, boats, or aircraft to protect us from the harsh climates on the surface of this little blue planet. And these chemists are driven by desire and need and the possibilities are endless as new compounds are adding to existing ones to bring up whole new blending ideas, some will revolutionize our industry but most will simply be duds. Some will be hyped even though they do not really solve a problem or fix a need. Never the less, the race goes on to find the best and we should be thinking about what is in that product before we put it on a car, boat, aircraft or prize possession.
Having used a variety of different products, at various cost levels, I can tell one from another and field testing shows that not all have the durability either, some simply outperform others in many categories and react differently when applied to different paint types, paint hardness, colour, or varied paint surface conditions.
Ultimately the best wax or sealant will prove to be the one that best meets its user's objectives. If a product is not working for you experiment until you find one that’s suitable for your needs. There is no one product that can produce all of the properties for an optically perfect shine, however; for high surface gloss and surface reflectance-a polymer sealant, which also provides durability. Detailing enthusiasts consider shine as only one attribute of a protective wax,sealant or coating. They are equally concerned with; ease of application, resistance to abrasion, atmospheric contamination and weathering.
Using heat, dry ice or suction will pop out a dent
The Paintless Dent Repair PDR) process is done by using many different tools to work the dent back out. Dents are removed and generally you cannot notice where the original dent was. This process requires a lot of training, practice, patience and skill, as well as a keen eye.
Carnauba wax contains natural UV absorbers
Carnauba waxes, contrary to popular belief and / or marketing do not contain natural UV protection; the oils (usually silicone in most products) make it very difficult to add the UV inhibitors. Polymers (acrylics, etc) resist UV degradation very well due to their structure, they are somewhat immune and absorb very little ultra violet radiation, and hence UV energy does not damage them
Detailer's clay bar it pulls the impurity out of the paint.
Detailer’s clay exfoliates bonded surface contaminants by shearing ( a popular misconception - it does not pull or extract contaminants from a paint surface, if this was the case there would be no need for it to be abrasive) it is then encapsulated by the clay resin. These abrasives are extremely small with an average particle size of 1- µ (micron) dependent on the aggressiveness required, mixed in with a powdered synthetic detergent.
Paints require oils to feed / nourish them
This is based upon oil-based paint, nitrocellulose lacquer or enamel and older technology paints on classic vehicles that required oils to keep them from becoming too brittle and cracking, water-based high solid/low solvent and urethane paints only require protection
Covered leather upholstery requires regular conditioning
As the top surface has polyurethane finish over pigmented finished leather, creams, oils or conditioners should not be used. Reminder; you are dealing with the finished surface coating and not with the leather itself.
I use Simple Green and it never hurt my aluminium wheels
It oxidizes aluminium on contact and damages clear from my experiences, it has a pH 9.3 and contains undiluted 2-butoxyethanol (Butyl Cellosolve) – see MSDS (Safe alternative - Simple Green. Pro HD conforms to both Boeing D6-17487P spec for general aircraft exterior cleaning and Pratt & Whitney PWA 36604 Rev C specifications for aircraft engine cleaning. It has been tested, thoroughly and has proven to be non-corrosive to aluminium.
A Lifetime Paint Protection
There is no polymer, synthetic or natural wax, or after-market product available that can provide a two, five year or lifetime protection to a paint film surface; read the fine print in the contract offered by car dealerships.
Water beading means my paint is protected
Nearly all wax and sealant products exhibit water beading or sheeting initially (in fact so does a clean paint surface without an applied protection) this is due solely to surface tension.
Once the protection breaks down (abrasion from water, road dirt/grime and other airborne pollutants) it will cause a reduction in the surface tension and the beading will revert to its former level
Abrasives require heat to break-down
Kinetic friction induced heat is an often misunderstood concept of polishing / compounding; abrasives require friction to breakdown, not heat; heat is just a resultant of friction between two surfaces.
Kerosene (cleaning) Baby Oil (for rubber seals) Shoe Polish (for leather upholstery)
Old school (technology) products that were use before the advent of specialised products specifically formulated for automobiles.
As materials and production methods that are used change; we need to adapt our product usage and application methodologies to change with them
Myths or marketing hype is usually based on some ‘truth’ to give it credibility, but biased to the advantage of the particular product. Or sometimes just plain misinformation or negative marketing to take advantage of the lack of knowledge by the general public
Leather needs oils to feed and condition it
Leather doesn’t need oils to feed it; it isn’t a living thing. Leather was removed from a dead animal, it’s then fat-liquored to preserve its oils and then sealed, and it also doesn't need proteins, collagen, oils or creams to feed or condition it, even if they could permeate the various coverings.
If you keep polishing your car you’ll take all the paint off.
Most modern vehicle paint film systems thickness is approximately 6.0 Mil (0.006-inches) comprising a Primer coat of 2Mils, a Colour coat of 1-2Mils, and Clear coat 2-3Mils. Ultra violet protection (UV) migrates to the top of the clear coat to protect the paint system from the effects of (UV) radiation (photo degradation (colour fading) oxidation)
Using a medium abrasive polish and a rotary polisher will remove approximately 0. 1 Mil (3µ Microns) from the paint surface (typically 4 passes at 1500-1800 RPM) but there are many variables such as polish/compound and speed / pressure used that may affect the paint removed)
There comes a point when you must judge wither removing a scratch will compromise the clear coat and if so you’ll have to ‘live’ with the imperfection. If you have reservations about the amount of paint surface removed or the amount of paint coating remaining the use of a paint thickness gauge (PTG) is arbitrary
A sealant has no benefit to the paint ‘because’ there is a clear coat
This is baffling, as clear coat is a polyethylene paint but without colour pigmentation, its applied to provide the colour coat (base coat) with shine, if a clear coat did not need a protection applied, there would be no such thing as clear coat failure due to oxidation or any of a myriad of clear coat problems. To provide further improvements in appearance and durability the basecoat / clear coat systems were developed and introduced in the late 70’s. The base coat is comprised primarily of pigments held in place by a polymeric resin film (binder).
To clean really dirty wheels use an acid based cleaner
There is a thin line between effective cleaning and dangerous to use products; so before using any chemicals or solvents, carefully read all of the cautions and medical information on the products container and / or MSDS.
Always follow all of the manufacturer’s recommendations. Ensure that you wear eye protection and acid-proof gloves; this is mandatory. No matter how safe an acidic product is advertised, never run the risk of it splashing in your eye or permeating your skin.
Use a product that has a low acid concentration level i.e. Sulphuric, Phosphoric and Nitric acid. 10% or less) with as high a pH level as you can find for an acid, this constitutes a less aggressive product. A wheel cleaner containing a neutralized acid is far safer yet still very effective to use on most wheels. It will do a far better job than high alkaline cleaners, yet is nowhere near as harmful to the vehicle or yourself
If you dilute an acid it makes it less harmful
Water is amphoteric and can act as an acid or as a base; an aqueous solution is a solution in which the solvent is water. Hydration leaves the non-water component intact. To dilute an acid requires a buffering agent, which adjusts the pH of a solution. The function of a buffering agent is to drive an acidic or basic solution to a certain pH state and prevent a change in this pH. Buffering agents have variable properties -- some are more soluble than others; some are acidic while others are basic.
Low pH acidic and high pH alkaline cleaners should be used with proper skin protection and in plenty of fresh air ventilation. Also proper health precautions should be taken (gloves, respirator, etc)
Using dawn will destroy rubber trim and paint
I would not recommend using a harsh dishwashing detergent such as Dawn on a regular basis, as they contain a degreaser, although most of them are approx pH 8.0 the other ingredients will tend to emulsify, breakdown and leach out oils found in rubber moulding, trim and the paint system, which if used constantly will cause the plasticizers to dry out and oxidize, causing them to lose their flexibility.
The DuPont Teflon® PTFE products that are used in the formulation of our products, add a distinctive performance benefit to the products
Teflon® will help ‘spread ability’ (but then so do silicone oils) it does nothing for durability because of its required application method-although Teflon® is an exceptional product when used as intended; it provides no benefit in a wax or polish. Unless Teflon® is applied at 700.0F, plus the use of a dissolving chemical C8, it is not a viable ingredient, and is 100 percent useless in protecting the paint's finish.
The larger the % of Carnauba wax the better the wax
Misinformation propagates the myth that increasing the Carnauba content of a wax will greatly improve the wax. This is only very marginally true at best; most carnaubas advertised with 50% or more Carnauba wax content is truly advertising a weight, not a volume. 30% by volume is about 50% by weight is about the maximum content (approx 35% Carnauba by volume makes it almost impossible to add/remove) that’s why you never can truly assess the amount of Carnauba in a manufactured wax unless the manufacturer specifically lists its content percentage by weight or volume.
Silicone / Petroleum distillates are harmful to paint
Silicone (Siloxane) oils - are polymers that include silicon together with carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and sometimes other chemical elements, which provide an excellent lubricant that when used as a carrier system in polishes and waxes that makes them easier to apply and remove When used in paints and other coatings it ensures an even flow through a spray nozzle ensuring an even product distribution. It not silicone that you need worry about, just the 'type' (what it’s formulated with) you need to be aware of. Silicone oils provide an excellent lubricant that when used as a carrier system in polishes and waxes that makes them easier to apply and remove When used in paints and other coatings it ensures an even flow through a spray nozzle ensuring an even product distribution.
More soap bubbles in a wash will get things cleaner
Back when laundry was done with soap flakes, suds level was an indicator of cleaning performance. So, many people today think that a good rich level of suds is necessary for clean laundry. However, this is no longer true. Today's detergents are formulated to have any suds level desired without affecting cleaning performance. "They make the removal of dirt easier by reducing the surface tension between the water and the paint surface.
In reality suds (a chemical foaming agent or coconut oil) do absolutely nothing to clean, they are simply a structure that a portion of the solution had taken due to being mixed with air. The amount of foaming produced has nothing to do with its cleaning efficiency, although it does provide a means of encapsulation as well as acting a cushion between the paint surfaces and cleaning tool (although a surfactant is much better at this)
All purpose cleaners (APC) will remove any soil / stain
Classifying stains-
Organic stains- these include proteins and fats, body oils, mould yeast, bacteria, bugs and carbohydrates. Most of the stains found in the vehicle interior are of an organic nature and require an alkaline type cleaner. Some organic stains (i.e. blood, vomit, urine) should be removed with an enzyme type cleaner and a disinfectant applied to the area
Non-Organic stains- mostly found on the exterior of the vehicle, hard water scale (calcium) lime deposits, Road tar, grease and oil film, and require an acidic type cleaner.
Petroleum soils - substances that do not contain water, nor are they miscible, these soil types include, motor oils, and crease and road tar, and require a solvent type cleaner.
Stain Types-
Water Soluble Stains- These stains can be dissolved in cool water or loosened with water based cleaner, coffee; soft drinks, cocoa and chocolate are good examples.
Oil soluble stains- These are stains that are comprised of oily or greasy substances, which include cooking, oil from fried foods and suntan oil.
Combination Stains- These stains contain both water based and oil-soluble properties. Cleaning these stains require treatment with a petroleum solvent followed by water based cleaning solution.
Unidentifiable Stains- Sometimes stains cannot be identified. Treat these stains like a combination stain. Clean with a petroleum solvent followed by water based cleaner.
As you can see from the above list the so-called ‘all purpose cleaner’ (APC) cannot remove all stains, it’s better to use a specific stain remover than to compromise. Always select a chemical / cleaner that are biodegradable, environmentally friendly and safe to use by observing any precautions recommended so that they won’t harm you, your vehicle or the environment
A hard paint surface resists scratches
Hard and soft are both relative terms; you can scratch the hard surface of a vehicles paint with a soft towel by the application of enough pressure. Both pressure and mechanical stress are defined as force per unit area. These two forces are the subject of Newton's third law of motion; the law of reciprocal actions [: to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction]
How can a hard clear coat be so easily scratched? Force acts through a body that has a surface area; if the surface area is really small while maintaining an equal force, the pressure becomes astronomical and the object under pressure capable of penetrating the surface of an otherwise tough material. That’s why a micro fine thread that is twice as fine as silk and a 100 times finer than a human hair, in an otherwise soft towel will scratch your paint. And the same reason a mosquito can penetrate a rhino hide with its proboscis (stinger).
A ‘Touch less’ or Tunnel car wash must be a safe way to clean your vehicle
Most so called ‘Touch less’ car washes today use a low pH acid as a first step, an alkaline to neutralize it and then high pressure water to wash cars. Hand washing is MUCH preferred, do not use an automated car wash period, touch less or not, there are a variety of reasons:
Local by-laws require car washes to re-claim or recycle water. This means they have two choices.
They can collect the water in tanks and pay to truck it away to a recycling centre or they can filter and then recycle the water (dependant on how often the filters are cleaned /changed) will affect how much dirt content there is. Recycled meaning re-use the same water, which may include any road dirt/grit that is not filtered out is used to high-pressure (1,000PSI) wash your vehicle (somewhat similar to sandblasting) the final rinse is usually twice-filtered re-cycled water, this is to give the appearance of a clean surface on the vehicle.
To help clean the recycled water they use a chemical like Presidium Orthophosphate (TSP) and have the chemical formula Na3PO4. It is a highly water-soluble ionic salt. Solutions of it dissolved in water have a high alkaline pH; this does a great job stripping your wax / sealant. TSP is generally not good for cleaning vehicles because it can corrode metal.
Washing my vehicle in my driveway is OK
Disposal of Aqueous Solutions - one should never assume that aqueous solutions can be disposed of down the drain. Your local water treatment authority or publicly owned treatment works will have information on treatment and disposal of these cleaners. Adjustment of pH and dilution are usually required before disposal to a drain Always comply with current water usage and disposal regulations / water usage restrictions
What’s the best wax?
Is there a best? In my opinion- No! While it’s true many of the chemicals used in the formulation of car care products are the same (or at least very similar) Chemists will forever be trying to make the perfect wax for cars, boats, or aircraft to protect us from the harsh climates on the surface of this little blue planet. And these chemists are driven by desire and need and the possibilities are endless as new compounds are adding to existing ones to bring up whole new blending ideas, some will revolutionize our industry but most will simply be duds. Some will be hyped even though they do not really solve a problem or fix a need. Never the less, the race goes on to find the best and we should be thinking about what is in that product before we put it on a car, boat, aircraft or prize possession.
Having used a variety of different products, at various cost levels, I can tell one from another and field testing shows that not all have the durability either, some simply outperform others in many categories and react differently when applied to different paint types, paint hardness, colour, or varied paint surface conditions.
Ultimately the best wax or sealant will prove to be the one that best meets its user's objectives. If a product is not working for you experiment until you find one that’s suitable for your needs. There is no one product that can produce all of the properties for an optically perfect shine, however; for high surface gloss and surface reflectance-a polymer sealant, which also provides durability. Detailing enthusiasts consider shine as only one attribute of a protective wax,sealant or coating. They are equally concerned with; ease of application, resistance to abrasion, atmospheric contamination and weathering.
Using heat, dry ice or suction will pop out a dent
The Paintless Dent Repair PDR) process is done by using many different tools to work the dent back out. Dents are removed and generally you cannot notice where the original dent was. This process requires a lot of training, practice, patience and skill, as well as a keen eye.
Carnauba wax contains natural UV absorbers
Carnauba waxes, contrary to popular belief and / or marketing do not contain natural UV protection; the oils (usually silicone in most products) make it very difficult to add the UV inhibitors. Polymers (acrylics, etc) resist UV degradation very well due to their structure, they are somewhat immune and absorb very little ultra violet radiation, and hence UV energy does not damage them
Detailer's clay bar it pulls the impurity out of the paint.
Detailer’s clay exfoliates bonded surface contaminants by shearing ( a popular misconception - it does not pull or extract contaminants from a paint surface, if this was the case there would be no need for it to be abrasive) it is then encapsulated by the clay resin. These abrasives are extremely small with an average particle size of 1- µ (micron) dependent on the aggressiveness required, mixed in with a powdered synthetic detergent.
Paints require oils to feed / nourish them
This is based upon oil-based paint, nitrocellulose lacquer or enamel and older technology paints on classic vehicles that required oils to keep them from becoming too brittle and cracking, water-based high solid/low solvent and urethane paints only require protection
Covered leather upholstery requires regular conditioning
As the top surface has polyurethane finish over pigmented finished leather, creams, oils or conditioners should not be used. Reminder; you are dealing with the finished surface coating and not with the leather itself.
I use Simple Green and it never hurt my aluminium wheels
It oxidizes aluminium on contact and damages clear from my experiences, it has a pH 9.3 and contains undiluted 2-butoxyethanol (Butyl Cellosolve) – see MSDS (Safe alternative - Simple Green. Pro HD conforms to both Boeing D6-17487P spec for general aircraft exterior cleaning and Pratt & Whitney PWA 36604 Rev C specifications for aircraft engine cleaning. It has been tested, thoroughly and has proven to be non-corrosive to aluminium.
A Lifetime Paint Protection
There is no polymer, synthetic or natural wax, or after-market product available that can provide a two, five year or lifetime protection to a paint film surface; read the fine print in the contract offered by car dealerships.
Water beading means my paint is protected
Nearly all wax and sealant products exhibit water beading or sheeting initially (in fact so does a clean paint surface without an applied protection) this is due solely to surface tension.
Once the protection breaks down (abrasion from water, road dirt/grime and other airborne pollutants) it will cause a reduction in the surface tension and the beading will revert to its former level
Abrasives require heat to break-down
Kinetic friction induced heat is an often misunderstood concept of polishing / compounding; abrasives require friction to breakdown, not heat; heat is just a resultant of friction between two surfaces.
Kerosene (cleaning) Baby Oil (for rubber seals) Shoe Polish (for leather upholstery)
Old school (technology) products that were use before the advent of specialised products specifically formulated for automobiles.
As materials and production methods that are used change; we need to adapt our product usage and application methodologies to change with them
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
The Lyrics:
Aankhon Mein Jis Ke Koi To Khwab Hai
Khush Tha Wahin Jo Thoda Betaab Hai
Zindagi Mein Koi Arzoo Kijiye
Phir Dekhiye..
Hoton Pe Jis Ke Koi To Geet Hai
Woh Haare Bhi To Us Ki Hi Jeet Hai
Dil Mein Jo Geet Hai Gun Guna Lijiye
Phir Dekhiye..
Yaadon Mein Jis Ke Kisi Ka Naam Hai
Sapno Ke Jaise Us Ki Har Sham Hai
Koi To Aaj Se Apna Dil Dijiye
Phir Dekhiye..
Khwab Bhun Yeh Zara Geet Sun Yeh Zara
Phool Chun Yeh Zara
Phir Dekhiye..
The Translation:
When your eyes hold a dream,
You will be happy, even if restless;
So aspire to something in your life,
And see what happens...
When have a song on your lips,
You will find, there is no such thing as defeat;
So keep that song humming in your heart,
And see what happens...
When someone is always in your thoughts,
You will be living your dream every single day;
So give your heart to that someone,
And see what happens...
So why don't you
Dream some dreams...
Play some songs...
Admire some flowers...
And see what happens...
Aankhon Mein Jis Ke Koi To Khwab Hai
Khush Tha Wahin Jo Thoda Betaab Hai
Zindagi Mein Koi Arzoo Kijiye
Phir Dekhiye..
Hoton Pe Jis Ke Koi To Geet Hai
Woh Haare Bhi To Us Ki Hi Jeet Hai
Dil Mein Jo Geet Hai Gun Guna Lijiye
Phir Dekhiye..
Yaadon Mein Jis Ke Kisi Ka Naam Hai
Sapno Ke Jaise Us Ki Har Sham Hai
Koi To Aaj Se Apna Dil Dijiye
Phir Dekhiye..
Khwab Bhun Yeh Zara Geet Sun Yeh Zara
Phool Chun Yeh Zara
Phir Dekhiye..
The Translation:
When your eyes hold a dream,
You will be happy, even if restless;
So aspire to something in your life,
And see what happens...
When have a song on your lips,
You will find, there is no such thing as defeat;
So keep that song humming in your heart,
And see what happens...
When someone is always in your thoughts,
You will be living your dream every single day;
So give your heart to that someone,
And see what happens...
So why don't you
Dream some dreams...
Play some songs...
Admire some flowers...
And see what happens...
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Your car is German. Your vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your tea is Tamil. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers Arabic, your letters Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Pull yourself together!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Your Dreams and Desires Are Your Guiding Light To Pursue I am a firm believer that our desires are a guiding light for us to follow. No one gets to the end of their life and regrets going for their dream. On the other hand, I’m sure that there are those that wish they could go back and chase their desires. We only live one life. There are no do-overs. If we let time slip by without pursuing our desires, then we may miss our true calling in life. How does one start to pursue their desires? I want to share some thoughts today related to this. 1. Unleash your dreams- Stop holding back on thinking about the desire that is deep in your heart. It may have been there for a long time or it could be brand new. It may be a quiet little whisper telling you to start your own business or it may be a roaring lion urging you to go back to school. However your dream speaks to you right now, stop and listen. Give it a chance. There are seasons in our lives for everything. Your desires may be telling you of a new season ready to spring forth in your life if you are willing to listen to it. Don’t squelch your desires without even giving them a chance to blossom! 2. Stop thinking so small- The desires of our heart usually seem big to us. They challenge and stretch our thinking. This is what is meant by being outside our comfort zone. Dreams and desires often make us uncomfortable. They are a little scary, but we have to stop thinking small. Let your dream expand. Unpack your desires and let them grow on paper and in your mind. Start getting some ideas out and let them simmer for awhile. Discuss your dream with a trusted friend. It is amazing how something as simple as this often becomes the first step toward realizing progress toward a suppressed desire. My desire to start this blog began as some simple ideas jotted in a notebook one day when I was reading at the park. You never know when inspiration will hit! 3. Don’t be afraid to fail- Why are we so afraid of failure? I’m guilty of succumbing to my fears, but if we let it fear will rob us of our greatest potential in life. It will stunt our growth. Don’t let it. Put failure away. Dorothea Brande tells us to, “Act as if it were impossible to fail.” in her book titled “Wake Up and Live”. What would you do today if you knew without a doubt that it was impossible to fail? It is a compelling question, isn’t it? Fear is often hard to overcome. However, the killer part is that we have so much more to lose by not trying at all. The consequences of a setback in our efforts is usually minimal compared to total inaction. Fear is all in our mind. We cannot let it rob us of our dreams! Starting acting as if you cannot fail. 4. Believe that dreams will pay the bills- This is a specific fear that I think is very common. Most of us believe that we cannot make a living at our dream. However, there are a ton of people that have. In fact, we usually make more money by doing something we love. Of course, you have to pursue things in a thoughtful way. If you are supporting your family, please don’t quit your job to pursue your dream without an alternate source of income. However, it is possible to start taking action today to begin changing your course in life. It is possible. In fact, you need to keep telling yourself that it is possible until you start believing it. A few years from now, you will wonder why it took you so long to start working in the area of your passion. 5.Help others get what they want- Helping others bring their dreams into reality is a great way to jumpstart your own desires. I believe that the more you give in life, the more you get. Pour yourself out in serving others. Structure your dream in such a way that it helps other people and then really go the extra mile in serving them. You may need to start working toward your dream as if it were a hobby. For example, if you are a photographer, take some photos for a friend’s family at no charge. If you want to write, then offer to put together a guest post for a blog or write an article for a local magazine. You want to help the other party and get noticed. The best way to do this is to let your passion shine. 6. Don’t give up- I offer this advice every chance I get. The older I get, the more I believe that a lot of the difference between success and failure is perseverance. We often expect too much too soon. We are like fireworks on the 4th of July. We shoot up with a dazzling bright sparkle, make a nice pop at the top, and then fizzle and fall. Slow and steady wins the race. Pace yourself. Don’t burnout and give up. This is the biggest danger to our success. Keep trucking even when you don’t feel like it. It is okay to take a break, but don’t quit. It is when you most feel like quitting that your biggest success is waiting just around the corner! Follow your guiding light to live the life of your dreams! The dreams and desires you have in life are there for a reason. They are your guiding light. They want to lead you to the life you most desire. Your job is to follow them. Put your heart and reputation on the line. Nothing in life is achieved without risk. Don’t be foolhardy, but don’t wait another minute to start pursuing what you most desire. Start taking the simplest steps and see where that leads you. You will be amazed at how fast your dream builds up momentum. Follow Nike’s slogan and “Just Do It!” What are your dreams?
101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Sniffle incessantly.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Name your dog "Dog."
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Drive half a block.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact..
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
100 ZANY WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
50 THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Censored by your son.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
Play the harmonica.
Shadow box.
Say Ding! at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
Blow spit bubbles.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!
REAL STATE LAWS
These are real standing laws from around the United States of America.
Alabama: 1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
California: 1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
Connecticut: 1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. 2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
Florida: 1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. 2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. 3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. 4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. 5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Illinois: 1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
Iowa: 1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Kentucky: 1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." 2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Louisiana: 1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. 2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
Massachusetts: 1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches. 2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. 3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. 4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
Nebraska: 1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
New Mexico: 1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
New York: 1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
North Dakota: 1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Ohio: 1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
Oklahoma: 1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. 2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. 3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Pennsylvania: 1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. 2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
Rhode Island: 1. It is illegal to throw pickle juice at a trolley.
Texas: 1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit. 2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Vermont: 1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.
Washington: 1. All lollipops are banned. 2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Sniffle incessantly.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Name your dog "Dog."
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Drive half a block.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact..
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
100 ZANY WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
50 THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Censored by your son.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
Play the harmonica.
Shadow box.
Say Ding! at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
Blow spit bubbles.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!
REAL STATE LAWS
These are real standing laws from around the United States of America.
Alabama: 1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
California: 1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
Connecticut: 1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. 2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
Florida: 1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. 2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. 3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. 4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. 5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Illinois: 1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
Iowa: 1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Kentucky: 1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." 2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Louisiana: 1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. 2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
Massachusetts: 1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches. 2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. 3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. 4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
Nebraska: 1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
New Mexico: 1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
New York: 1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
North Dakota: 1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Ohio: 1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
Oklahoma: 1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. 2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. 3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Pennsylvania: 1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. 2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
Rhode Island: 1. It is illegal to throw pickle juice at a trolley.
Texas: 1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit. 2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Vermont: 1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.
Washington: 1. All lollipops are banned. 2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."
Sunday, May 08, 2011
The Other Side of Suffering
Everyone feels pain
But surely, after suffering satisfaction will arrive
Even with sports; studying or other ordeals with life,
It’s like that for everyone
If we can beat the pain, on the other side
a rainbow of happiness awaits us.
That will definitely become a treasure
Lets believe in that.
Step by Step
When my existence seems to disappear
I will look for the place where I can do the best I can
From now on, I’ll deliberate slowly
I won’t be impatient
I won’t be greedy
I won’t give up
Because everyone takes things step by step
Everyone feels pain
But surely, after suffering satisfaction will arrive
Even with sports; studying or other ordeals with life,
It’s like that for everyone
If we can beat the pain, on the other side
a rainbow of happiness awaits us.
That will definitely become a treasure
Lets believe in that.
Step by Step
When my existence seems to disappear
I will look for the place where I can do the best I can
From now on, I’ll deliberate slowly
I won’t be impatient
I won’t be greedy
I won’t give up
Because everyone takes things step by step
I really don’t want to say things such as “I want to go back to how things were before”. I recognize how i am right now, and I will continue to live on.
Even though I have been hurt before by those heartless glares this also helped me to understand that around me, there still exists some gentle glares. Therefore, I definitely won’t run away. That’s what I’ll do. Definitely. Always.
The quiet classroom after class; The view outside the window; the wooden floor of the corridors; Talking in home room; I like all these. I’m likely to only cause trouble for people and it might not really do me any good to stay here. Even if it’s like that, I still want to stay here. Because this is the place where I am.
To be able to smile and tell everyone this; i have, at least, cried one litre of tears. Therefore, even when i leave this school, I definitely won’t think that some things have ended.
If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me…I’m alive.
For those people who are really listening, they will definitely understand.
People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It’s enough to try your best in all that you’re doing now.
Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don’t even have the right to dream. As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.
Where should I head towards? Even if there isn’t answer, I’ll feel better by writing it down. I’ve looked for a pair of helping hands but I couldn’t feel them, couldn’t see them. I only face towards darkness and hear the sounds of my hopeless screams.
Even though I have been hurt before by those heartless glares this also helped me to understand that around me, there still exists some gentle glares. Therefore, I definitely won’t run away. That’s what I’ll do. Definitely. Always.
The quiet classroom after class; The view outside the window; the wooden floor of the corridors; Talking in home room; I like all these. I’m likely to only cause trouble for people and it might not really do me any good to stay here. Even if it’s like that, I still want to stay here. Because this is the place where I am.
To be able to smile and tell everyone this; i have, at least, cried one litre of tears. Therefore, even when i leave this school, I definitely won’t think that some things have ended.
If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me…I’m alive.
For those people who are really listening, they will definitely understand.
People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It’s enough to try your best in all that you’re doing now.
Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don’t even have the right to dream. As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.
Where should I head towards? Even if there isn’t answer, I’ll feel better by writing it down. I’ve looked for a pair of helping hands but I couldn’t feel them, couldn’t see them. I only face towards darkness and hear the sounds of my hopeless screams.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
It's like everytime i throw up, i look down and i swear i don't remember eating that.
What the aliens have done to me....i cannot fully process.
I'm sure they'll come again. I won't be able to resist their calling.
High up on the desert mountain in the middle of a clear night. I'm the only one who knows they are out there.
They are reading my mind, invading my dreams. They are programming me to do their bidding.
I shall do their bidding.
They will abuse me in ways i will not remember.
Every once in a while, fragments of thoughts enter my consciousness and flashes of memories fill the void. I'm either dreaming it all over again, or it was their intention for me to relive certain brief moments.
Enough to feed the curiosity until next time...
There will always be a next time
until there isn't
& then what...
What the aliens have done to me....i cannot fully process.
I'm sure they'll come again. I won't be able to resist their calling.
High up on the desert mountain in the middle of a clear night. I'm the only one who knows they are out there.
They are reading my mind, invading my dreams. They are programming me to do their bidding.
I shall do their bidding.
They will abuse me in ways i will not remember.
Every once in a while, fragments of thoughts enter my consciousness and flashes of memories fill the void. I'm either dreaming it all over again, or it was their intention for me to relive certain brief moments.
Enough to feed the curiosity until next time...
There will always be a next time
until there isn't
& then what...
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Keep away from Pumpkinhead,
Unless you're tired of living,
His enemies are mostly dead,
He's mean and unforgiving,
Laugh at him and you're undone,
But in some dreadful fashion,
Vengeance, he considers fun,
And plans it with a passion,
Time will not erase or blot,
A plot that he has brewing,
It's when you think that he's forgot,
He'll conjure your undoing,
Bolted doors and windows barred,
Guard dogs prowling in the yard,
Won't protect you in your bed,
Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead.
Unless you're tired of living,
His enemies are mostly dead,
He's mean and unforgiving,
Laugh at him and you're undone,
But in some dreadful fashion,
Vengeance, he considers fun,
And plans it with a passion,
Time will not erase or blot,
A plot that he has brewing,
It's when you think that he's forgot,
He'll conjure your undoing,
Bolted doors and windows barred,
Guard dogs prowling in the yard,
Won't protect you in your bed,
Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead.
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Cure Valentine
Winged hearts fly
through the vanishing air
to let other hearts out there
know that our hearts care
Yeah, she moves like caged tigers
and we couldn't get closer than that
the way we walk, the way we talk
the way become lovecats...
Sometimes love
is all in the head
so do-do-do-do-do
and let's go to bed
And I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you,
but Friday I'm in love
We come together
from all over the world
a secret club
of cureboys and girls
But no matter how far away,
no matter how long we stay,
whatever words we say
I will always love you, guys
I will always love you.
Winged hearts fly
through the vanishing air
to let other hearts out there
know that our hearts care
Yeah, she moves like caged tigers
and we couldn't get closer than that
the way we walk, the way we talk
the way become lovecats...
Sometimes love
is all in the head
so do-do-do-do-do
and let's go to bed
And I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you,
but Friday I'm in love
We come together
from all over the world
a secret club
of cureboys and girls
But no matter how far away,
no matter how long we stay,
whatever words we say
I will always love you, guys
I will always love you.
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