This is an open letter to all the girls (specifically the one a grocery store today) with the great boobs on display.

When you got up this morning and dressed for the day, I'm sure you knew that your little top put focus on your clevage. In my 29 years I've never been in a house that didn't have a mirror, so I'm guessing you checked one before you went out for the day. Even I look in the mirror every morning. That being said you had to know that your t!ts were going to be noticed. You have NO reason to act shocked when someone like me looks at them.

I will give you this, you are hot....like supermodel hot. But, that doesn't make you invisible to us normal folks. Your hottness does not make you superhuman, you were buying groceries just like us regular people do. The difference is, your boobs were on display for everyone to see. Once again, you had to know this. You had to realize that us lowly average guys were going to look at your clevage. When you dress to be gawked at, you have to accept that you will be noticed. Not just by Alpha Gamma Douche frat boys either. I promise that every guy who saw you today looked at your t!ts. The fat guys, the scuzzy guys, the gym rats, your boss, that drunk indian at the grocery store, all of us looked!

Now, don't take this the wrong way. I don't want you to start wearing XL Nascar t-shirts. You paid good money for those t!its and you should show them off like a shiny new Benz. Be damn proud of those sweater puppies! But, just like a new Benz, don't be offended when we stare in adoration or jelousy, be proud of what you bought!

You certainly can't be creeped out when someone like me hopes for a nipple slip. I know I'm not Justin Timberlake, but I'm not a fu(kin bridge troll either. Us Average Joe's want you to dress like you're mad at your dad. But, we'd also like you to realize that your great t!its (and tight ass) don't make you any better than us, just more fun to look at!

Here's where I get personal. Lean in close and listen up hot chicks. Every straight guy would like to fu(k you, but 99.99% of us won't rape you. That one out of a thousand is probably the frat boy you have a crush on...after all, he's the one with easy access to roofies. If you're going to dress like a piece of meat, expect to be drooled over. Your sneers just make you look like an unattractive cun+. When you give off that "better than the world" vibe, we all want you to get herpes of the AIDS and suffer a slow, ugly death. That goes for Paris Hilton as well.

Hopefully this has been a wake up call. If not, fu(k it, I'm still gonna look at your boobs when you put them out there!