My dreams are all dead and buried.
Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode.
When god comes and calls me to his kingdom,
I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go!
(A dee ley ae oo)

Some how I got spinal meningitis
Injecting all that hair spray in my spine
Its a super cheap way to party
If you aint killed some brain cells in some time
(Good luck gettin that child support check from me now)

My oldest son was born an albino
My youngest isa covered in hair
The middle one says he's a homosexual
And the other seven gonna go nowhere
(I raised them right they aughta be fine)

She run off and took our only chicken
When I broke jail the house was burnt and bare
The Japs moved the plant back to Osake
Some days life just don't seem that fair
(I don't care, some days life just don't seem that fair)

I gave all my best years to that woman
All she gave me was mouths to feed
A miracle straight from the loins of Jesus
Since Charlie blow off both my testies
(1969 Cam Ranh Bay)


Get your Yanky ass off my property
Don't care if the bank gave you a deed
This farm has been ours for generations
Since we beat back those sneaky Japanese
(In the war of 1812, bring our boys home)

Girl you're just like an angel
When I lift you so high over my head
And when we practice in the water
I can't quench my desire no matter how wet we get

Well I wish I had a gun big enough to hold a bullet
Big enough to go and shoot out the sun
Take a minute with a cooler while I cook baking soda
In the back wouldn't that be fun
Is everybody gonna pin me a can of aqua net
We'd be better off
Big bang, single bang, chicken ranch
Doing triple time on my porch
And I never let it rock
Gol dang feel pickle, gonna let it tickle
And my moonshine wanna make you hick a hickle
Tread a poss comb jute joint ice cycle
Jumpin of a barb wire sticka of a chickle
Squeeze baby