well, the lord came to me in the form of a pop-tart and told me that he was sending me his "tool". after assuring him i had no desire to handle his tool, he pointed out that i would be saving a great many people. he then told me that i would be the keeper of god's furnace-- see, the devil exists in all forms of printed money, and the only way to rid the world of his evil is to burn that money. thing is, if you burn it on a regular fire, the devil just flies off, or sometimes, he flies into you! with the furnace, i can capture the devil when he is released, therefor, money can ONLY be burned in MY furnace. i beg all of you to send me your money. please. for your OWN good. i am a servant of god and i am willing to RISK my soul for YOU. just please, send me all your cash. do it . today. it is the lord's will. i promised god i would devote myself to getting your money.

trust me.